First book excerpt.
pleasefireme:

"This is an excerpt from Please Fire Me: Posts from the Revolting Workplace. Under no circumstances are any of these songs to be submitted for the anthem.” — Leaders of the PFM Revolution
NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL ANNOYINGLIKE BEING AT YOUR OFFICE ALL THE TIME!
You’ve already heard them blasting out of your obnoxious cube-neighbor’s iPod speakers, or yodeled by your boss while he tours the floor, but now the best of the worst is in one super compilation! Featuring the music that was so awful, you’ve still got at least three to four words of the verse and most of the beat stuck in your head! This soulless, tasteless megamix could only be brought to you by the slicked-back-pony-tailed execs at Vapid Records and their Now That’s What I Call A Cash Cow! series. Now here they are, the songs you’ve been complaining for: 10 workplace anthems, and one bonus track for some extra “aaarrgh!” Finally enjoy them at home, or smash them against the wall like you’ve always fantasized!
Please Fire Me…
Please fire me. The co-worker next to me listens to Phish and other jam bands all day.
Please fire me. I work for a company that can no longer afford a workspace with individual cubicles; this means that I must share a workspace (a quad if you will) with a man who consistently smells of cheese. Every shirt he wears has pit stains.His favorite musical act is Creed. I do not deserve this.
Please fire me. I’ve been forced to listen to “Bad Romance” on a loop all day.
Please fire me. I sit in a tiny room all day, every day with a girl who blasts Russian techno music from the time she comes in to the time she leaves. We never speak, but there is no one in this world I have more contempt for. I fear that the repetitive, loud, horrible, Russian trance music I am forced to listen to every second of every day will cause me to snap. 10 dollars an hour is not worth a murder rap.
Please fire me. My co-worker whistles the theme to Rocky when he is finally doing something productive.
Please fire me. I have a co-worker who sings Michael Bublé songs while eating Goldfish crackers. He has conversations with another co-worker about which Transformers movie was better, the first or the second. He also picks his nose at the lunch hour and crashes large jets into the ground on an out-of-date MS flight simulator game on his laptop.
Please fire me. The new sales guy will not stopping leaning in through my office door and air-guitaring Led Zeppelin, his favorite all time band.
Please fire me. I walked in on my co-workers singing the McDonald’s “Gimme that Filet-o-Fish” song.
NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL ANNOYINGTRACK LISTING!1.    “My Sacrifice” - Creed2.    “Bad Romance” – Lady Gaga3.    “Pharm House” - Phish4.    “Suburban Life” - Kottonmouth Kings5.    “Eye of the Tiger” – Survivor6.    “Immigrant Song” – Led Zeppelin 7.    “Gimme that Fillet-o-Fish” – McDonald’s Commercial 8.    “Save the Last Dance” - Michael Bublé9.    “Theme to Rocky” – Soundtrack to Major Motion Picture Rocky 10.    “Tsunami” – Baltic11.    “One Last Breath” – Creed

First book excerpt.

pleasefireme:

"This is an excerpt from Please Fire Me: Posts from the Revolting Workplace. Under no circumstances are any of these songs to be submitted for the anthem.” — Leaders of the PFM Revolution

NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL ANNOYING
LIKE BEING AT YOUR OFFICE ALL THE TIME!

You’ve already heard them blasting out of your obnoxious cube-neighbor’s iPod speakers, or yodeled by your boss while he tours the floor, but now the best of the worst is in one super compilation! Featuring the music that was so awful, you’ve still got at least three to four words of the verse and most of the beat stuck in your head! This soulless, tasteless megamix could only be brought to you by the slicked-back-pony-tailed execs at Vapid Records and their Now That’s What I Call A Cash Cow! series. Now here they are, the songs you’ve been complaining for: 10 workplace anthems, and one bonus track for some extra “aaarrgh!” Finally enjoy them at home, or smash them against the wall like you’ve always fantasized!

Please Fire Me…

Please fire me. The co-worker next to me listens to Phish and other jam bands all day.

Please fire me. I work for a company that can no longer afford a workspace with individual cubicles; this means that I must share a workspace (a quad if you will) with a man who consistently smells of cheese. Every shirt he wears has pit stains.His favorite musical act is Creed. I do not deserve this.

Please fire me. I’ve been forced to listen to “Bad Romance” on a loop all day.

Please fire me. I sit in a tiny room all day, every day with a girl who blasts Russian techno music from the time she comes in to the time she leaves. We never speak, but there is no one in this world I have more contempt for. I fear that the repetitive, loud, horrible, Russian trance music I am forced to listen to every second of every day will cause me to snap. 10 dollars an hour is not worth a murder rap.

Please fire me. My co-worker whistles the theme to Rocky when he is finally doing something productive.

Please fire me. I have a co-worker who sings Michael Bublé songs while eating Goldfish crackers. He has conversations with another co-worker about which Transformers movie was better, the first or the second. He also picks his nose at the lunch hour and crashes large jets into the ground on an out-of-date MS flight simulator game on his laptop.

Please fire me. The new sales guy will not stopping leaning in through my office door and air-guitaring Led Zeppelin, his favorite all time band.

Please fire me. I walked in on my co-workers singing the McDonald’s “Gimme that Filet-o-Fish” song.

NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL ANNOYING
TRACK LISTING!

1.    “My Sacrifice” - Creed
2.    “Bad Romance” – Lady Gaga
3.    “Pharm House” - Phish
4.    “Suburban Life” - Kottonmouth Kings
5.    “Eye of the Tiger” – Survivor
6.    “Immigrant Song” – Led Zeppelin
7.    “Gimme that Fillet-o-Fish” – McDonald’s Commercial
8.    “Save the Last Dance” - Michael Bublé
9.    “Theme to Rocky” – Soundtrack to Major Motion Picture Rocky
10.    “Tsunami” – Baltic
11.    “One Last Breath” – Creed

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    First book excerpt.
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